Tales of Old Men

Asbel never answered my question, so I'm going to ask you Captain Malik. What's a virgin?

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 03:23:52 -0400

“A virgin is a set of stars up in the night sky. It’s one of many such pictures. Are you familiar with a connect-the-dots drawing? A virgin is like that.”

Malik, you're sooo noble. I know you have made mistakes in the past, and you think a lot about them. But sometimes you can't dwell on those things. What happened happened, and that's just how it is. I want to see you smile more. I'm sure everyone agrees with me on that.

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 00:31:10 -0400

“I’m beginning to realize that words do carry weight, and that actions alone don’t determine the worth of a person. You have a point—”

“Let’s turn that frown - upside down - shall we?”

“Ol’ Raven’s got ta booze taken care of!”

“There’s going to be liquor involved? I’ll have fun watching you make fools out of yourselves.”

“It was so quiet at first.”

“That it was. However, this may do us all some good.”

“Heh. Speak for yourselves.”

Malik, when you were a teenager like Asbel, did you have a girl you liked like Cheria?

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 20:58:50 -0400

“In a sense, yes, there was someone I cared for in my younger years. Sometimes it’s difficult looking back.”

“But I’m only doing her a disservice in remembering anything other than the good.”

Malik, you're too awesome! Will you be my grandpa? =3

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:52:51 -0400

“I would if I didn’t already have a bunch of kids— ahem, a group of strapping young men and beautiful young ladies to look after. It brings tears to my eyes watching them grow up.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“Sophie, when did you get over here? And don’t worry, I simply have a wish in my eye.”

“A wish? But this is an eyelash. Are you supposed to make wishes on eyelashes?”

“Sure, why not?”

Which one of you snores the loudest?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 20:27:16 -0400

“Gallardo. Definitely.”

“I didn’t know cats could snore like that.”

“You must be mistaken. I’m sure you mean to say Malik.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you’ve got even me beat.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it…”

“Well now you know, so maybe you’ll pipe down a bit.”

Klarth I just wanted you to know that I saw your hat down at the club partyin it up with some sketchy looking guys

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:23:35 -0400

“My hat? What would it be doing away from my head…?”

“Someone must have stolen it in the night.”

“But who?”

“You must be imagining things. Who else would wear such an atrocity?”

“Curtiss, we all saw you trying it on the other night.”

“Me? I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.”

“I should have guessed it was you.”

Guys, why are all of you so cool? It's like all the badassness came with age.

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:46:02 -0400

Has no sense of balance.

Was manhandled by Tear.

Disrespected by his own son.

Disrespected by his own daughter.

The emperor’s lap dog.

Constantly beat up by a little girl.

Got drunk and faceplanted in a urinal.

Everyone calls him Grandpa.

Too old to even be included.

Any of you men care to accompany me in a cha-cha?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 16:38:49 -0400

“Jade says that I haven’t been participating enough. The others nominated me as well.”

“…let’s get this over with.”

“One hop this time - two hops this time - slide to the left - slide to the right - now Klarth, please clap your hands.”

(He’s enjoying this far too much.)

Captain! Have you noticed if Hubert has been hanging around Jade recently? I think Jade might be rubbing off on him...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 22:58:52 -0400

“That may have more to do with you than with Jade, Asbel.”

“But don’t worry. Sibling rivalry is healthy in small doses!”

Kratos, why do you wear such tight pants?

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:38:59 -0400

“I’m afraid Kratos has refused to answer this question.”

“If I were to guess, however. I imagine tighter clothing reduces the drag from wind, allowing him to move faster.”

“Is that so? I thought it was because of that flock always staring at his girlish figure.”

“Well.. if you want a less scientific answer, I suppose…”

Jade, does your belt buckle mean you are the world champion of Pacman?

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:32:27 -0400

“It means that I’ll devour your soul.”

Hey, Malik, howsabout you teach me how to use a bladerang! Looks and performs like a handy weapon. I'd like to try it out~

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:31:05 -0400

“I suggest you practice with a cheap toy first. Take it from Asbel. He went around with a stick whacking everything in sight.”

“Whacking everything in sight sounds like a valid learning process.”

“I wasn’t done explaining.”

Malik, I love your voice. It's so sexy~

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:36:58 -0400

“Then allow me to sing for you—”

“Unacceptable. You’d lose part of your appeal. Give an inch and they’ll demand a mile.”

“Yet you’re allowed to cater to the fans all you please.”

“That’s because I’m adorable.”

“And now everyone has a jaded sense of the word!”

“I finished a pun?!”

“This post is no longer about me whatsoever.”

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ Contract?

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 01:55:15 -0400

“What’s this? A spirit I haven’t heard of?”

“I would be honored to make a pact with you, really.”

“But I don’t seem to have any unused Pact Rings at the moment.”

“Maybe next time!”

Now Captain Malik, I know of your love for ice pops, but it won't come between us will it?

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 01:38:01 -0400

“Of course not, Your Highness.”

“I wouldn’t dream of letting these little lovelies come between us.”

“Unless you ask nicely, that is~”

U-um this may sound like a weird request but I had a shitty day and I was wondering if I could have a hug from you guys, It would make my day so much better.

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:43:45 -0400

“Ohh, ohh! Me first!”

“Would a pat on the shoulder suffice?”

“Well, it’s not nearly as impersonal as a crisp salute.”

“…it’s called a reflex.”

“What poor sports. Come here. Let me give you a warm embrace.”

“Something tells me that it’s not compassion radiating off of him.”

Oh, I have a nickname for your nickname, Raven! It's Ray Ray. What do you think?

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 13:46:59 -0400

“Ray Ray, huh? I like ta sound of that one. It’s spunky yet not too hip for a fella like me.”

“I approve! From this day forward, you can just call me Ray Ray!”

Whoever romances me the best never has to eat Raine's cooking again. GO.

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 13:44:10 -0400

“Let’s make out!”

“Captain~♥!”

“Using his majesty as a springboard is unfair. Disqualified!”

“You’ve been waiting for this moment, haven’t you?”

“I most certainly have not.”

Dickhardo Sexydato has a nickname, why don't the rest of you?

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 07:19:35 -0400

“Is ‘The Necromancer’ not considered a nickname?”

“Ya know, technically Raven is a nickname, too.”

“Someone’s been calling me ‘Ripped Regal’ behind my back as of late.”

“Malik may have had something to do with that.”

“Kratos! That’s no way to talk about Grandpa.”

Hey Kratos do you still keep in touch with Lloyd? Please say you do.

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 07:13:24 -0400

“I’ve been missing from Lloyd’s life long enough, no? Let it not be said that I don’t make any effort to check up on him.”

“He’s managed without my guidance for quite some time, however. I have faith in his abilities.”